Sleeping in beachtowels

Ah yes, the menopause….such fun! My experience came earlier than anticipated (at 38/39) due to cervical cancer, and was undiagnosed until it was all over (the symptoms were attributed to my being anxious & depressed post cancer scare…..which, fair enough, I was). So, for me, menopause hit hard, as if I’d run face first into a brick wall, at speed. Or, like PMS, except eating chocolate didn’t seem to help.

The sweating was the worst….I kept a small portable fan on my desk at work (back in the day when we had desks 😂 can’t quite imagine dragging it out of a locker every day and then wandering around with it “not so discreetly” tucked under my arm as I try to find a desk), and would spend a good 15 mins parked in front of it every morning, until my “glow” had calmed down. The temptation to use it like a hairdryer was hard to resist at times 😬 On that point, why oh why are the bathrooms in office buildings the warmest bloody room in the place? It seems to me that it’s the one room where a little fresh air & coolness would be most welcome…..designers, please take note!

The night sweats were a different kettle of fish….not a gentle “glow” as such, more like someone’s just sneaked into the bedroom & tipped a bucket of water over you….several times a night! This will test the limits of even the best waterproof mattress protector, so, stock up! If you’re a minimalist, and subscribe to the “one on the bed, one off the bed and one in the wash” theory of bedlinen, may I gently suggest that you also stock up on beachtowels? After 2 full bedlinen changes in one night, we resorted to sleeping in our beachtowels rather than go through the palaver of a third sheet change…..highly recommended! 👍

The good news is that the sweating bit passes 😅 However, you may find that your chin and upper lip become a bit furrier than they were before…..what new horror is this??!! If you’re “lucky”, you’ll be dark haired, and you can get those suckers lasered off. If you’re blonde…..well, let’s hope laser technology keeps evolving 🤞in the meanwhile, Tweezerman and a good bathroom light will be your friends 👍

Finally, things may dry up a bit in your nether regions….and there’s only so much spit & enthusiasm that’ll ease things along, if you get my drift 🙃 Just buy the lube and/or get a prescription for some oestrogen pessaries…life’s too short for eye-wateringly arid sex, get your glow on!

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